from a granddaughter

on the 9th of May 2011 , my grandmother,Tok Mak (Saedah binti Marjan) took her last breath at 1.00pm.

i just want to share a little bit about her, eventhough the last time she knew me when i was 2.

when i was in form 2, i did a speech about her for my english oral. and i still keep the text with me. so this is what i wrote about her.

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Her name is Saedah binti Marjan. She was born on 19th July 1941 in Johor Bahru. (she's 70 this year)

My grandmother is still alive but I have never spoken to her. I have never talked or have a personal conversation with her eventhough my family and I visit her every weekend. Her doctor said she is in a vegetative state. For some of you who don't know what that means, well it means she is unconscious with limited motor ability such as she can only close and open her eyes and swallow. Until now, she is not aware of her surroundings.

Before i tell you why she is in this condition, i want to tell you a little bit about her. she got married when she was young at the age of 22. my grandmother went to England for her teachers' training. then she came back and got married and became a teacher. she has got 5 children and she was also very active. she knew that she got a medical condition which has been there since she was born. this condition gave her severe migraines thoughout the years.

Later on, her motor skills on her right side was affected. her right fingers and hand movement became stiffer and weaker. her right leg movement became limited. she can still walk by slightly dragging her right foot along. then she had to learn to write using her left hand since she was unable to use her right hand anymore. subsequently, she was too weak to walk so she had to use a wheelchair.

My grandmother was properly diagnosed only in her 40's. she had a condition called Arteri-Veinus Malformation (AVM) in her brain. this happens when the main blood vessels are formed together without any of the tiny vessels in between. over the years, it became tangled by pressing up against her nervous system in the brain.

Several years after being diagnosed, my grandfather wanted to bring my grandmother to Singapore to do a non-invasive surgery to remove the AVM from the brain. my grandfather had earlier refused to allow the surgeon in Hospital Kuala Lumpur to do an open-skull surgery since it was a risky operation hence the Singapore option.

Then in 1996, my grandfather brought her to Singapore to do the procedure. during the procedure, due to the pressure in her brain causing some blood vessels to burst and she had a massive haemorraghing in the brain. the surgeon had to do an open-skull surgery to remove the blood clots in her brain. all of us prayed and she survived but went into a deep coma for 3 months. however, later she went into a semi-comatose state and we were able to bring her home. since that, she has been like that until now.

Although she knew me until i was only 2 years old, i really hope somewhere deep inside her, she still remembers all of us including me. My family and i still visits her often at my grandfathers house.

-2008

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it's sad to see someone like that since i have never been in a situation where any of my relatives die before. and its sadder to see my uncles, aunts and cousins crying like ive never seen them like that before.but we should be happy, where it is better for her since she had been struggling for 15 years and 1 week on bed like that. she is a wonderful person and has a good taste in fashion. even i'm wearing some of her clothes. she will truly be in our memories.

Al-Fatihah to my grandmother.